Posts Tagged ‘Warped Tour’

Get Warped, Nana

You know that saying that kids say, "If it's too loud, you're too old"? Yeah, I'm officially too old. Picture from farm3.static.flickr.com

This past week, I dragged SLJ to the Warped Tour, because it really just isn’t summer until you’ve spent nine  hours in the blazing sun surrounded by a cornucopia of shirtless, sweaty high-school boys rocking out to punk covers of Taylor Swift songs. Yes, a cornucopia of them.

Before going, I had already come to the realization that I was too old for this. While guys seem to attend Warped Tour well into their late 20s (and a few well into their 40s), the average girl looked to be about 15. But the moment I really knew I was too old was when I looked into the mosh pit and thought, ‘oh holy heck I am not going in there.’ I used to thrash with the best of them, taking shoes to the head and getting hit in the face, and just completely rock out drenched in other people’s sweat. And sick as it sounds, I lived for it; it was my favorite part of going to the show. But then this week, I looked into that rolling glob of people, so hot that you can feel the humidity come of the mass, and thought, ‘yeah, no, I’m good over here by the seats, thanks.’

Then SLJ and I looked at each other, and as if only to confirm that we were both getting a little too old, we looked at the speakers, then back at one another and agreed that it was just a little too loud.

And that was it. There are moments when you realized you’ve changed, that you are no longer the person you once were. At that moment, it was clear, I am getting old. I already knit, have poor eyesight and terrible hearing, and bruise like a peach. I’m like a 22-year-old grandma.


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So it’s been a long running joke in my family that I’m blessed with amazingly good fortune (I don’t necessarily think this is true…). Funnily enough, many of the people I know happen to be amazingly unfortunate (like when SLJ won a ticket for the front row of Rent, but had to trade it in and buy a much more expensive ticket because she was the last name drawn and while everyone else got a pair of tickets, she got a single… or KT, who twisted her ankle on a tour of Europe and had to hike around a camp all summer on the twist when she got back home… Or AP, whose amazing misfortune involves so much of her life that she actually lost her wallet twice in one week, after having her ID and debit card replaced, and it still wasn’t such a bad week for her).

In my life, I got my first car for free from a family friend who I hadn’t seen since elementary school, found $30 bucks while looking for a place to grab lunch in Boston, landed a work-study job my freshman year of college even though I didn’t qualify for it (thank you poor oversight at the financial aid department), passed high school physics with a B- in spite of the fact my test average was in the 40s (although the class average was probably not much better), convinced my landlord to drop my rent by $400 a month, and hold two jobs in the state with the highest unemployment rate in the country. Lucky.

And the other day, I may have managed the pinnacle of my luckiness. I found a penny heads up; three days later I won tickets to the Warped Tour (yes, I am too old to be going to Warped. But I’m told I look 16 still, so I think it’ll be okay). But that’s really not the part that matters; the part that matters is that I won a jump the line pass for The Rocket Summer. Remember back to the post “The Teeny Bopper Inside” where I admitted that I continue to have a middle-school crush on Bryce Avary so pathetic that my heart actually skips a beat when I see him (it’s actually quite physically painful). Now I get dibs on meeting him first after he plays his set. Lucky.

The unlucky part? Ever since I found out I won, I’ve had “Lucky” by Britney Spears stuck in my head. But I actually really like that song… Lucky?

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