Posts Tagged ‘pedestrian’

Crash Into Me

As if I needed another reason to hate SUVs/SUV drivers... picture from gtcarlot.com

I got hit by a car. Okay, I wasn’t so much hit as tapped by a car on my walk to work this morning. Now, I know the woman was driving a giant assed white Mercedes Benz SUV, which just states, “why hello, I am a giant tool,” but it always kills me when a female driver does something incredibly stupid (like hit pedestrians), because it just perpetuates the myth that women can’t drive. Alright, I can’t drive either, and am cognizant that I, too, perpetuate the myth, but I have never once hit a pedestrian. I think I should mention that I am also wearing a nuclear spill-green dress today. It’s practically radioactive. You can see this color from space, so when I’m standing 2 feet in front of your car, I really can’t be missed.

I can’t even be upset about the situation though. One, because I wasn’t hurt; and two, because the look on the woman’s face was absolutely priceless. She literally had the look of “Oh dear Lord, I just shat myself.” And it might have been the most fantastically hilarious thing I’ve ever seen. I actually started laughing out loud because she just looked so ridiculous sitting there, staring at me, with her eyes wide, and her hands clasped over her mouth.

In that moment, I looked her directly in the eyes, with my hand on the front of her unnecessary SUV, and I gave her a big thumbs up. I hope she understood the sarcasm of my gesture. As I rounded the corner for the next block, that big white Benz was just starting to roll up the hill. The poor lady was probably wondering if she had time to go home and change her pants now that she’d crapped herself.


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