Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Spiderman from fastcharacters.com

I believe bathroom time should be alone time. Door closed, blinds shut. Recently though I’ve discovered that I am no longer able to be alone in these private tasks. I am being watched. Not by some creeper hanging out around the house. No, I am being watched by a family of white arachnids who have taken residence in my home. I am joined when in the shower, while flossing my teeth, when brushing my hair…. I relocated a few to the great outdoors, by my new eight-legged housemates keep finding their way home.

 I have another option… the one most people I believe would take- crush  the tiny little bodies in a tissue and toss them with the garbage. But I can’t bring myself to do it. I had no problem taking out the colony of ants that decided to declare war on our kitchen counters with a can of Raid, and I didn’t feel too bad while eating my Asian chicken salad wrap tonight, but actually crushing the life out of a little creature seems too much.

So I decided to make a deal with the house crashers. If they don’t touch me, I won’t touch them… So far so good.

Then again, maybe the university has been up to some nuclear experimentation on the spiders and I’ll have Spiderman powers in the morning.


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Evil Lurks in Room 113

I have never experienced anything like it. I woke up in a cold sweat and panic. I had to turn on the light and settle myself. This was the third time in one night. The terror struck hard and fast and I awoke to realize that my nightmare had followed me back into my room. A periwinkle paisley binder, a black wire-bond notebook, and a mostly dilapidated laptop… the things that were haunting me.

I have never had a class like Business Planning. Others have told me the stories, but I until last night’s panic, I didn’t realize how much the class was affecting me.

This morning I woke up to find my face was breaking out in mean little red eruptions. My eyes have deep purple circle forming, like a kid after amateur boxing night.

Tonight I’ll be moving the notebook and binder to the other room before I go to sleep to try to clear the bad energy out of the room… or maybe I’ll just soak them in holy water…


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