Posts Tagged ‘Fail’

Get Warped, Nana

You know that saying that kids say, "If it's too loud, you're too old"? Yeah, I'm officially too old. Picture from farm3.static.flickr.com

This past week, I dragged SLJ to the Warped Tour, because it really just isn’t summer until you’ve spent nine  hours in the blazing sun surrounded by a cornucopia of shirtless, sweaty high-school boys rocking out to punk covers of Taylor Swift songs. Yes, a cornucopia of them.

Before going, I had already come to the realization that I was too old for this. While guys seem to attend Warped Tour well into their late 20s (and a few well into their 40s), the average girl looked to be about 15. But the moment I really knew I was too old was when I looked into the mosh pit and thought, ‘oh holy heck I am not going in there.’ I used to thrash with the best of them, taking shoes to the head and getting hit in the face, and just completely rock out drenched in other people’s sweat. And sick as it sounds, I lived for it; it was my favorite part of going to the show. But then this week, I looked into that rolling glob of people, so hot that you can feel the humidity come of the mass, and thought, ‘yeah, no, I’m good over here by the seats, thanks.’

Then SLJ and I looked at each other, and as if only to confirm that we were both getting a little too old, we looked at the speakers, then back at one another and agreed that it was just a little too loud.

And that was it. There are moments when you realized you’ve changed, that you are no longer the person you once were. At that moment, it was clear, I am getting old. I already knit, have poor eyesight and terrible hearing, and bruise like a peach. I’m like a 22-year-old grandma.


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Still probably too technologically advanced for me... picture from bedrock.deadsquid.com

I like to pretend I’m only slightly below par technologically, and yet every now and then I am reminded of how deeply sub-standard I am. For the past two hours, I’ve been trying to hook up a wireless router for the internet. For the past hours, I’ve failed miserably in spite of the fact the router came with a CD that takes you through a step-by-step process. It seems I’ve grown up in the wrong generation. I’ve never played Wii or Rock Band; my gaming skills failed me after Super Nintendo. The 3-D graphics on the Nintendo 64 were too much for me and I never got the hang of the joy stick. I didn’t learn to text until my sophomore year of college, and even then, I still get the phone taken away from me for texting too slow. So here I am now, sitting in semi-darkness on the floor of my house, surrounded by a plethora of cords, and wondering if maybe I should make some friends with some of the computer nerds who hang out in the basement of the university library. 

I can build a fire and tell what berries are poisonous; maybe I was really destined to be a cave person. Plus I can totally use a dinosaur as a vacuum (if you don’t get the reference, yabba dabba do yourself off my blog).

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If it is possible to fail at meditation, I’ve done it. As a required by my Let’s Pretend this Public Speaking Course is a Religion Course to Fulfill University Requirements professor, I attempted five days of meditation (okay, I attempted three…). About 2 minutes into each session I’d get so anxious to get back to work that I would just give up and go back to writing my papers, reading my textbooks, or (of course) working on this blog.

There’s something about a college dorm room that doesn’t say “relax and be at peace with the world” so much as it says “AHHHHHHH!!!! DEADLINES!” We are so enwrapped in work that its sometimes harder to take 10 minutes to breathe than to write a 10 page research paper. It’s second semester (which always feels so much shorter than first) and it’s only a few weeks until Spring Break, the time when professors start steamrolling students with papers and projects, just to ensure that they are sufficiently stressed before (or even worse, after) vacation. Maybe we should all just relax, breathe, and find our center.

Anyway, it’s time for me to get back to work…

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