Death by Finals.... from http://themarcottes.com/
It’s the week before finals here, meaning that people have set-up camp at the library. Being the only place on campus open 24 hours, it’s become the place to be whether or not you actually have work to do.
There are four types of library dwellers: herders, wanderers, foreign settlers, and loners. Herders are 3 or more people, generally friends or group members, who come to the library to distract everyone else. They come in and out with large styrofoam Ma’s Donuts’ coffee cups and occasionally Taco Bell. They get absolutely no work done, but complain continuously about how much they have to get done and how unreasonable their professors are. They almost always agree to pull an all-nighter, but typically work on and complete their projects between 7 a.m. and 8 a.m., and complain to everyone about how long it took.
Then there’s wanderers. If any herd is actually able to get work started, a wanderer is sure to stop them. These are the kid’s who don’t really have any reason to be at the library but are there anyways. Their sole purpose is to distract anyone attempting to work. They see their freshman-year roommate’s best friend’s ex-boyfriend’s cousin’s ex-girlfriend who they sat behind in Politics before they dropped it after four days and they have to say hello; it’d be rude not to. Yes, we all know one. We may even like one. But if you want to get to bed before 4 a.m., avoid them at all costs until finals are over.
Foreign settlers are the kids who want to get work done but have no one to do it with. They’re either not quite secure enough to be loners or they can’t find a single seat, so they join a herd that’s already formed. The only problem is, these kids have nothing to do with the herd. They’re not in the group, or even in the class, yet they try to make it work. They sit their awkwardly, trying to join the group conversation but have no idea about what’s actually going on. Foreign settlers tend to have the same effect on groups as wanderers except that they don’t leave. Ever. Then they’ll typically ask for a ride home.
Then there’s the loner kids. They hate their roommates; they hate their classes; but most of all they hate everyone else in the library. They are on the brink of a nervous breakdown. They just want to study, but cannot think over the sound of the herders and they keep getting distracted by wanderers. No, they don’t want a coffee and they don’t want to help you edit your religion essay. They just want to do work and you just won’t let them. They will kill you. They might be the nicest people in the world any other time. But we’re talking about finals here and if you ask them one more question, you’re dead.
It’s 2 weeks of dark circles, caffeine, and distractions.
Happy Finals!
